wealth.

i'm rich.

i was given the most beautiful little girl in the world last year, a couple weeks before christmas. she's gorgeous. she's everything i ever wanted. she's the apple of my eye. she is my universe. she's every single type chiche you can think of. but she's one of a kind. and when i look at her, i feel like everything i ever went through in life all added up and amounted to her. she was meant to be mine and i was meant to be hers. she calls for me when she is distressed. she finds comfort when she finds me. i feel peace knowing that i was able to give her what was best for her. i somehow feel grateful when she is happy. it's priceless.

i have, in my corner, a boyfriend who feels the exact way about her, too. and he's passionately in love with me and i with him. every other aspect of him is just as good as that. enough said.

i have food on my table. it may not be the best food, but it gets us by. we are not sick. we are still strong.
i have clothes on my back. they are good enough. i may want more, but i know that it is not a priority. i know what comes first.
i have a roof over my head. and i feel at home.
i have family that loves me and depends on me.
i have friends that are cool no matter how fucked up i am because they know they're just as fucked up as i am. straight up. i am surrounded by people that throw me surprise baby showers and surprise happy first mother's day kick-backs. i have a girl that can hang in scrabble and actually is a geek enough that wants to watch jeopardy with me. i have a girl that likes to read and talk and doesn't always want to have your back, but always will anyway. i have a girl that just likes to chill and not judge and say funny ass shit and ask funny ass questions and is down for whatever. i can exhale when i'm with them. i can be real. if i have ugly, and i'm sure every single one of us do, at least a little bit, i am free and safe enough in their presence to just let it out. i am not judged. i am thought of. and i am understood.
i have a mind that does not accept right off the bat, but is keen enough to try to find the truth in everything. i like to form opinions. but i like to not have opinions sometimes just as much. i'm a mix between wanting to know everything and believing that ignorance is bliss. i am an advocate of peace, but i also feel like if someone crosses that hypothetical line between good and something really, too horrid for this world fucked up, then they deserve torture. i'm anal enough to record all times of the day and number of ounces of breast milk i pump to make sure i don't produce too little for my daughter, but i will not clean the bathroom. i'm patient enough to stay but impatient enough to leave. i know exactly where the fuck i'm at, but am reserved if i stray but a step. i'm a cocktail of laziness and productiveness. i day dream too much, but i doing what it takes to get there. i am simple. i probably know more than you do, but i know that i don't know everything - and then come to the conclusion that you probably know more than me. i have reason that learns so quickly and teaches me logic in things. i can understand. but then i understand that i only understand just enough. i understand that the world doesn't owe me shit, but because i am alive, the world is what it is. i am perceptive enough to see that that entails responsibility. i'm selfish but i take care of the people around me, and i am rich enough to have them feel the same way about me.
i have seen enough in the world to know that i am real. i have seen enough to know that everyone is real. but i am fake, too. and so are they.
i am rich. i am rich in everything that matters. i am rich in what i hold most important to me.

but fuck, i need some money.